Case of the Missing Moto (and then some)

Dear Friends, Family and other notable companions on this journey through Life.

This is a two-part note because I began it while still in Kg Cham. I decided to leave the original part in rather than delete it because subsequent events have a bearing on this time.

Part one (still in Kg Cham)
It has been a while and I still have not made up my mind about whether to replace my moto or get a bike. I am probably going to buy a moto, but I am still giving myself a day or two more to be sensible rather than impulsive. A new Honda Spider costs $780 and a new Honda Dream, the presumably best of the motos, costs about $1660. The Spider is 110cc and the Dream is 125cc. Living in the city the Spider is very practical, that is if you have dismissed the bicycle as the main mode of transportation. Several people back before I bought my moto, told me the Spider was best because “robbers’ only want Dreams, not Spiders. I have proven them wrong which was not my goal.

Language class is coming to a close. I am still terrible but I can at least make myself sound like a severely retarded Barang (white guy) who is trying to find his way to the toilet or restaurant or museum. A careful Khmei would probably give an answer to all three even if the Barang only said one sentence. And then the Khmei might be surprised to find that the fellow was actually trying to say this is a nice day or have you lived in Phnom Penh long? I have been exposed to tons of vocabulary, nouns and verbs, I have been instructed in how to convert verbs into nouns, adjectives into adverbs, more nouns into verbs but with different prefixes, and several, (hundreds, it seems) expressions that cover a multitude of situations (satanapheap). However, remembering the severely retarded Barang (white guy), a comment may not mean the intended thought and international confusion is enhanced.

Part 2 (Back in Phnom Penh)
I returned to Phnom Penh having decided to go ahead and buy another moto. Since I had gone through the trials of learning how to ride the thing and having developed some minimal skills, I believed that lightning would probably not strike twice. Time would be the final arbiter of that theory. So —

I bought the moto – a very nice blue one. I added several safety features like an alarm and a lock attached to the front fork of the machine. This is in addition to the normal locking mechanism when you turn off the bike. I finished it all off with an updated curse from Jesus, Buddha, and Mohammed all cursing the family of any thief to the fifth generation who dares to steal this bike. It is still in English so its effectiveness is somewhat limited. I need a good Khmer translator.

Saturday as I was leaving my house with another VSO volunteer (so I have a witness) the little girl who speaks English came up to me and asked me for my paper work on the moto again. I told her I didn’t have it and that VSO had it in the office. I asked her why she needed it so badly since the likelihood of ever seeing the moto again was slim and none. She then told me that the police had found my moto and the other cycles that had been stolen. To describe my reaction as speechless is to severely understate the case.

In Cambodia as in many developing nations, the police are often the last ones you want to have helping you in a criminal activity. The usual suspicion is that they are either the thieves, are helping the thieves, or couldn’t care less about a foreigner having a problem with the criminal elements. So, to find out that the police had found the motos was an amazing revelation. The social contacts of the owner of the house suddenly have been sharply elevated in my estimation. If he could get the police to work on this case (see above reasons for why they probably wouldn’t) then he definitely has some juice.

Now I have to sort my logistical problems. I still haven’t seen the moto but I believe that this is not some cruel joke. It suggests that I am now the owner of two (2) motos. One problem is that since I had no trust or faith at all in its recovery, I had disposed of the two sets of keys for the original. Also I now have to find a buyer for one of them, probably the original since I don’t want any reminders of the crazy ways of the Cambodia life.

Just got back from lunch. During lunch I received two offers for my moto. We have not discussed price yet but both of the prospective buyers do not believe that the keys will be any problem. I am not sure they even think that papers will be a problem.

I will not bore all of you with an ongoing saga of the missing Spider (the type of 110 cc moto I have) but as the issue comes to a close, I will post everyone. I am hoping that there is not a body or two of ‘robbers” lying in a ditch somewhere. Crime seems to be a fairly frequent hobby particularly here in Phnom Penh but part of being a successful robber is knowing whom not to rob.

That is it for now. I plan on going home and going to bed early. I ache and think I have a cold or flu or something. My office mates are heading for Bangkok and are very upset I am not traveling with them. I am following Obama and Hillary at some distance, and while I am cheering for Obama, I have a nagging feeling I have heard this stuff before. Ah well, setting precedents are good too.

Love to all and my deep appreciation for the many thoughts and notes you have sent. Your wandering pilgrim, Evel Paco Dervin